


Haunt // Bed

by oscar_milde



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Lonely Reader, Mentions of Smut, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reader-Insert, Songfic, The Force, fucking kylo you piece of shit, kylo playing with feelings, nothing bad tho bc i cant write smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7452571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscar_milde/pseuds/oscar_milde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on The 1975's Haunt // Bed</p>
<p>The relationship between you and Kylo has become a ghost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunt // Bed

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work (ive posted here). pls read at you own risk bc it's feely and it sucks. hats off to my favorite emo son

**I'm sorry that your dad's dead**

Everyone knew of the events that seemed to shake the entire galaxy. The whole galaxy was at war, and you were in the middle of it, and on the wrong side, I should add. You and Kylo Ren had a very... personal... relationship, but he would never admit it.

You had stumbled into the First Order for a job, but things got complicated quickly. You hadn't asked for love. (Was it really love? ~~Was Kylo Ren capable of love?~~ ). Now you were stuck.

Everyone knew certain things. The Resistance scum had destroyed the base both from the inside and the outside. Many people were lost and many more couldn't escape as the planet exploded. Now the First Order is trying to rebuild.

You knew of the events that caused Kylo Ren to grow even further emotionally from you. You had been watching from the bridge. You grew mortified as you saw Kylo Ren kill Han Solo in an attempt to kill the last string pulling him towards the Light, but instead he killed a part of his soul. And that was the small part that still had any chance at a normal relationship with you.

It's all gone now. 

 

**I hope you amend it**

"You can take your mask off around me, you know," you whispered. He was as dark as the night, and every bit as scary. You had never been afraid of him, but then again, you always knew there was a person under that mask. Now you weren't sure.

"To show everyone my failure? Show that the weak Resistance entered my base? To show that a weak and untrained teenage girl defeated me? And show everyone my weakness?" he screamed inside the mask. Your blood ran cold. He wasn't like this with you. The Darkness has gotten stronger.

"I-" What do you say? He's angry and not in a compassionate mood. You'll be dead before you can even think about it. You had never thought about it. You never had to think about it.

"Get out." The short command was strange. He usually pleaded for you to stay until Hux would come shouting that _there are more important things to do, Ren_  and he would leave, but be anxious to come back. How things have changed. You moved off his bed and went outside before he ended up destroying something. The door to his room slammed shut behind you. Your back slid down the wall. Stormtroopers walked past you quickly, as everyone had been avoiding Kylo even more than normal.

"I'm sorry."

 

**I think I've lost a lot of my friends**

You roamed around trying to look for lists of casualities. You weren't particularly popular, but there were certain friends you couldn't forget. Your team meant everything to you. "Is there any kind of news about the people missing?" you asked a Stormtrooper that walked by. How strange to see a lonely Stormtrooper. There had been a new rule that all Stormtroopers had to go in pairs, ever since FN-2187's escape.

"We have a list of who is on this base. If a name doesn't appear, they didn't make it," he responded and walked away. You kept walking and after a few more conversations with other wiser people, you found the list. You went through it once, twice, three times, nothing. Your heart broke a little. 

 

**Through belief that I'm an instrument**

Why do people work for the First Order? Stability, maybe. Protection. But all of that was thrown out of the window when the Resistance attacked. The First Order wasn't as powerful as it pretended to be. It is nowhere near that anymore.

And that is why many were planning their escape. You would be lying if you said that the thought of joining them hadn't crossed your mind. The only thing truly tying you to the First Order anymore was Kylo. Your job wasn't needed. You couldn't do anything if you wanted, since more than half of your team was missing. You knew of the secret meetings the people that wanted to escape had. They really should be more careful to prevent being caught, but the higher-ups are more worried about another attack from the Resistance instead of worrying about an uprising from within.

 

**Well fuck me if you must then**

Kylo had, surprisingly, requested your presence in his chambers. He hadn't spoken to you much since the recent events, and you hadn't particularly tried to chat him up since he kicked you out of his room. He must have something special to say.

You arrive and sit on his bed. This one isn't as comfortable as the one that was on Starkiller. The sheets are still black and the air is still cold. The lights are still dim and you are still you. Kylo is the only one that has changed.

Come in and sit down. That's what you always used to do, back when you could still be considered his secret lover. As of lately, you considered yourself something that used to be. Stars, you hoped you were wrong. Kylo was always cold, but never this distant. Now you were worrying about whether you should be sitting on his bed because yes that's what you used to do but it isn't like that anymore. Your thoughts were interrupted when he came in.

The blood in your veins ran cold. He was angry. You could feel it deep within your bones. He undressed quickly and it took you by surprise. Soon you were out of your clothes also.

That was the angriest sex you guys had ever had, and you'd had quite a lot of those. He had fallen asleep afterwards. At least you hoped he was asleep. You pulled your clothes on as you willed the tears not to spill. He was usually more loving, but this utterly broke your heart. Not a single kiss had been exchanged because he was still wearing that damned mask.

You had gone from being his equal to being his sex toy. You don't know how to feel about this.

 

**Treat me like an old friend**

You hadn't seen Kylo in over a week. He didn't try to reach out to you, and you avoided him. You walked calmly down the hallway. Hux had requested your presence. Something about snooping around and trying to find out about more traitors. Maybe they had finally gotten wind of it.

You came into the command room and there he was, like an eerie shadow. He took up so much space and had a menacing stance. You gulped and tried to avoid looking into  ~~his eyes~~ the slit in his mask. Hux came in and began debriefing others about rumors going around about Resistance members that had infiltrated this base.

It was ridiculous, of course. There were no Resistance members here. There were barely any First Order members. Did you really blame people for wanting to leave? No. You understood. You wanted to join them.

Hux dismissed the meeting, but before you had a chance to escape, Kylo called out to you. Slowly you turned and looked at him.

"I know you know something about this, but I don't know how much. You better not put the First Order at risk because you want to protect your friends." He didn't seem agitated, which was a good thing. But he suspected you, which wasn't.

"Sometimes loyalty to your friends goes before loyalty to the First Order."

"There is no such thing. What would Hux say?"

"I don't know, I don't care, and I know you don't care either. Of course you wouldn't know about loyalty, old friend. You're only loyal to your precious Snoke." You stormed out and he didn't follow. 

 

**I can't exist within my own head**

You had noticed people were more secretive. They were hiding. They were being more cautious. Maybe it was because you had warned then that the General was aware of something fishy going on.

You were on a need-to-know basis. You and Kylo had made a pact long ago that he wouldn't dig through your brain, but you're not so sure if he would keep that promise if it meant that you could be keeping a potentially dangerous secret from him.

You were always on your guard, but one day you slipped and ran right into him. You didn't know what to expect. An apology? Questioning? Anything. Or maybe nothing. You couldn't remember when you had last seen Kylo and wanted to turn away rather than jump right into his arms since Starkiller.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment and you panicked. There was only a soft whisper in your head. It was a familiar _Follow me_ You were sure you had imagined it, but when Kylo started moving and you mirrored his path he didn't say anything to discourage you from following.

 

**So I insist on haunting your bed**

You were back in his room which wasn't good. The last few times weren't particularly enjoyable and you weren't ready for another tantrum or for sex without feelings.

The bed was unmade and there were a few things out of place. A book on the floor, clothes piled up. You sat on the bed without saying anything. Oh man, you were going to miss this bed terribly when you left, even if it is more lumpy than the Starkiller bed.

 

**If you could only hear what I said; You'd see**

"When you leave?" he asked. Your heart stopped for a minute. You were projecting too loudly. He doesn't even need to look inside your mind to know what you're feeling. Okay, don't panic. Build your walls high and don't let him in.

"I don't have anything left for me here. Why bother? Maybe I'll become a scavenger. Maybe I'll become a smuggler. Maybe I'll-" the words stopped in your throat. You're crossing dangerous territory. You wanted to be free, not be murdered by Kylo Ren.

"Maybe you'll what, (Y/N)?" he asked curtly. You could see him clench his fist in his leather gloves. That voice... his tone is not pleasant. You had heard that tone and before long, something bad happens. You, however, had never been on the receiving end and it terrified you. How things have changed.

"I-I need to go," you got up but found that you couldn't move. Never had he harmed you using the Force. Would this be the first time?

"No, say it. What will you do?" The tension was growing tighter, and it seemed like anything you said would cut it like a knife.

"I'll join the Resistance." There it is. Your last words, probably. You were waiting for the sweet bliss that was death, but it never came.

"Of course. You're just like them. You're just like all the traitorous scum. Like Luke. Like Han Solo. Like my-" he paused "like my mother. You people always leave." You felt the pressure around your body go away and you ran out as fast as your legs could carry you.

Your heart hurt a little if you thought about how his voice sounded and how you felt a tug on your heart, so you tried not to think about it too much.

 

**I'm not scared**

It had taken almost a month of intricate planning. You're not exactly sure how, but some people had secured a ship. A First Order ship. Others had gotten Stormtrooper suits. And another had somehow planned the faux findings of a "Resistance base" in a nearby system.

Hux's paranoia got the better of him and he decided to send a fleet of Stormtroopers to go and investigate. This is where the people who wanted to leave got alerted, and they dressed like Stormtroopers, yourself included. You wondered how Hux would feel when he found out that he had basically given all of you the green light to leave. All of you had to work together to not get discovered.

As you started climbing on board with your clunky suit, you felt someone staring at your back. You slowly turned and saw Kylo. Was he going to alert Hux that you are all using this as an escape plan? 

_Are you really doing this?_

There he was again. Using the old voice. The one that made you calm. The one that made you stop and think about nothing but him. Too bad there were other things to think about. 

_I have to_

And you turned and went into the ship. Maybe one day he'd come and join you on the Resistance to fight against the Dark Side.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i heard this song and i was like "yo thats totes for Kylo" then i wrote this and it was like 1500 words then i revised it and added like 600 more. feel free to stop me from writing. or encourage me idk   
> if you want you can follow me on tumblr @tarzan-hoe bc thats me. a hoe over fictional characters


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